by ROFL
+68
King_Of_Blades
Banouin
Darnás
Jitsu Girl
CLAIRVOYANTdisease
Temari
Always-Abby
Sasori Kung fu masta
Aichu
spyke543
Shugo
Michael
MissQoolKat
Dancing Mist
AkiQ
Laura-Chan
snowborder34
Kazekage*Gaara
TanukiRen
Soutourou
Horai
Destinykil
NarutoBoyFreakah
Shemoku
0v3r_Th3_Fantasy
Claud-kun
Kyuubichakra
Keia-Chan
happyangel
jake989
Layla-Chan
knssquad
mung kuan
Meika-Chan
Q
Kagamiko
Titaniumxvx
Gaara*Of*The*Sand
KarateKeyaQ
KatEyez
azuki_dashi16
Temari_21
Friesenator
Angelic Harmony
CrispinFreemanWatcher16
Vongola
Yoyo
panthachild
alchemyrox
-j0$3-
Ushiko
zen like lemons
Monzaemon Chikamatsu
yondaime2
amaterasu
quater
TheFirstKnight
Choushi
Kiami
sabaku no ketsueki
LyricalM
theBOSS.
Koneko_Bozu8
Renden2005
Furaiigon
D-Dei
UnknownMarauder
Sayomi Hatake
72 posters
Funny Jokes
knssquad- Citizen
Number of posts : 39749
Age : 117
What's up Tab : Tippecanoe.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-11-14
AMP
Natural: 3
Power: 0
Instinct: 3
amaterasu- Citizen
Number of posts : 34165
Age : 39
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-11
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
lol, thats funny
Layla-Chan- Citizen
- Number of posts : 978
Age : 33
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-12-19
AMP
Natural: 15
Power: 15
Instinct: 15
hahahaha
TheFirstKnight- Citizen
Number of posts : 8141
Age : 358
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-13
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
amaterasu- Citizen
Number of posts : 34165
Age : 39
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-11
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
poor guy
TheFirstKnight- Citizen
Number of posts : 8141
Age : 358
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-13
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
The $2
Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!
I am STILL
laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring
them out in public. The younger generation doesn't know they
exist.
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2
bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something
to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at
me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer
burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat
in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and
hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of
funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He
goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my
earshot. The following conversation occurs between the
two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2
bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to
me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2
bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says,
"We don't take these Do you have anything
else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills?
Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal
tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take
it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his
manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to
him, "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything
else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe
and get change "
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in
here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later
when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You
tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in
back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we
don't take big bills this time of
night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar
bill."
Manager: "We don't take those,
either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know
why."
Me: "No really, tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call
mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall
security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please,
sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just
leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way
then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this
point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining
area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes
later this 45-year-oldish guy
Comes
in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager
(whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny
money."
Guard: "No kidding!
What?"
Manager: "Get this .. A two dollar
bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar
bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other
thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's
fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill
is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar
bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of
here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me
and......
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're
trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see
'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in
here?"
At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I
want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for
it with this two dollar bill.
I put the bill up near his
face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at
him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times
in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this
bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to
me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar
bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is
there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.
So, it
turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink
and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get
a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I
try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could
probably end up in jail. You get free food there,
too.
Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!
I am STILL
laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring
them out in public. The younger generation doesn't know they
exist.
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2
bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something
to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at
me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer
burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat
in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and
hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of
funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He
goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my
earshot. The following conversation occurs between the
two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2
bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to
me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2
bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says,
"We don't take these Do you have anything
else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills?
Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal
tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take
it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his
manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to
him, "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything
else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe
and get change "
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in
here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later
when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You
tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in
back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we
don't take big bills this time of
night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar
bill."
Manager: "We don't take those,
either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know
why."
Me: "No really, tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call
mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall
security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please,
sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just
leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way
then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this
point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining
area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes
later this 45-year-oldish guy
Comes
in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager
(whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny
money."
Guard: "No kidding!
What?"
Manager: "Get this .. A two dollar
bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar
bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other
thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's
fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill
is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar
bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of
here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me
and......
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're
trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see
'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in
here?"
At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I
want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for
it with this two dollar bill.
I put the bill up near his
face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at
him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times
in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this
bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to
me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar
bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is
there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.
So, it
turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink
and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get
a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I
try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could
probably end up in jail. You get free food there,
too.
Destinykil- Police Chief
Number of posts : 30675
Age : 33
What's up Tab : Eroding slowly
Fanclubs : WONTON BRIGADE, Hellsing Fanclub
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2008-01-03
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: Wind Tornado
Instinct: 0
two asian guys walk into a bar two weeks later they own it
Layla-Chan- Citizen
- Number of posts : 978
Age : 33
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-12-19
AMP
Natural: 15
Power: 15
Instinct: 15
hahaha, i loved the 2 dollar bill one and the B'day guy one, they were ace ^_^
KarateKeyaQ- Citizen
Number of posts : 41152
Age : 14
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-10-30
AMP
Natural: 2
Power: 0
Instinct: 2
TheFirstKnight- Citizen
Number of posts : 8141
Age : 358
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-13
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit
on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in
an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top
of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing
to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit
on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in
an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top
of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing
to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
knssquad- Citizen
Number of posts : 39749
Age : 117
What's up Tab : Tippecanoe.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-11-14
AMP
Natural: 3
Power: 0
Instinct: 3
I love that cat
amaterasu- Citizen
Number of posts : 34165
Age : 39
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-11
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
lol, the difference between cat and dog
quater- Hezi
Number of posts : 118119
Age : 33
Fanclubs : Shikamaru! NCS WOTN Veteran Princes! Soul Eaters
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-05-21
AMP
Natural: 56
Power: Flood Attack
Instinct: 50
I read the dog one.
The birthday one was good. But maybe he was just going nude I mean don't we all do that sometimes?
The birthday one was good. But maybe he was just going nude I mean don't we all do that sometimes?
D-Dei- Citizen
Number of posts : 49291
Age : 1014
What's up Tab : "I've made up my mind. I'm gonna become an emu."
BEL.the.Ripper.
- Spoiler:
- The first Alice was a courageous red one
With a Sword in one hand through Wonderland
She cut down, many things that stood in her way
Making a path that was a trail of blood
The alice walked deep into the woods and then she was trapped
A prisoned sinner
There was no way of knowing she was there
Except the red path that followed behind her
The second Alice was a calm, blue one
Singing a song that filled wonderland
The false notes which he sang till the end
Created a crazy world in wonderland
That Alice was born of a Flower
Was then shot by a cross-eyed man
Out from the wound then bloomed a flower
Everyone that had loved him, soon began to die
The third Alice was an innocent green one
A beautiful figure there in wonderland
She had fooled many people to do her bid
A strange country was then created up
The Alice was the queen of the country
Possessed by a dream of distortion
Afraid of losing her life to death
Ruling the country of hers forever
Walking down a red path in the forest
Under the blue rose trees, the two had tea time
An invitation to them from the castle was
The playing card of hearts
The fourth Alice was a pair of children twins
They were curious througout the wonderland
They traveled through the doors to see all kinds of things
From there wandering that they had just arrived
A stubborn big sister, and smart little brother
They were nearing the first alice's wonderland
The two were to never to wake from their dream
The twins then wandered through wonderland endlessly!
Fanclubs : Deidara Fanclub.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-31
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
nice $2 bill one.
knssquad- Citizen
Number of posts : 39749
Age : 117
What's up Tab : Tippecanoe.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-11-14
AMP
Natural: 3
Power: 0
Instinct: 3
It won't let me see the birthday one 
so why was he nude?
so why was he nude?
TheFirstKnight- Citizen
Number of posts : 8141
Age : 358
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-13
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” dad says,” Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the working
class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think
about that and see if that make sense.” So the little boy goes off to
bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his
baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the
baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his
parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake
her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in
the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and
goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
“dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father
says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is
all about.” The little boy replies, ” Well, while capitalism is
screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people
are being ignored and the future is in deep shit!”
class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think
about that and see if that make sense.” So the little boy goes off to
bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his
baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the
baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his
parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake
her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in
the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and
goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
“dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father
says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is
all about.” The little boy replies, ” Well, while capitalism is
screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people
are being ignored and the future is in deep shit!”
LyricalM- Citizen
Number of posts : 6355
Age : 33
What's up Tab :
FAIRY TAIL!
Fanclubs : All Of Them! Not really but i do like a lot of them.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-09-06
AMP
Natural: 74
Power: 74
Instinct: 74
That's one bright kid!!!
TheFirstKnight- Citizen
Number of posts : 8141
Age : 358
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-13
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
A professor teaching medicine at the university was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."
LyricalM- Citizen
Number of posts : 6355
Age : 33
What's up Tab :
FAIRY TAIL!
Fanclubs : All Of Them! Not really but i do like a lot of them.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-09-06
AMP
Natural: 74
Power: 74
Instinct: 74
How ironic
amaterasu- Citizen
Number of posts : 34165
Age : 39
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-07-11
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
oh, sneak attack from the lecturer
LyricalM- Citizen
Number of posts : 6355
Age : 33
What's up Tab :
FAIRY TAIL!
Fanclubs : All Of Them! Not really but i do like a lot of them.
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-09-06
AMP
Natural: 74
Power: 74
Instinct: 74
I want to do that now..... i want to be the teacher though
^_^
AkiQ- Citizen
Number of posts : 26747
Age : 33
What's up Tab : Jayme + Nikki = AMAZING AWESOMENESS!
Homie Purp && Homie Blue ghetto since 2009
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-12-19
AMP
Natural: 68
Power: 68
Instinct: 68
i had a joke last week. but i cant remember it. 
Dancing Mist- Citizen
Number of posts : 12463
Age : 31
What's up Tab : Back
Fanclubs : none
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-10-03
AMP
Natural: 63
Power: 81
Instinct: 72
What was the last thing that went through the bugs mind before hitting the windshield?
AkiQ- Citizen
Number of posts : 26747
Age : 33
What's up Tab : Jayme + Nikki = AMAZING AWESOMENESS!
Homie Purp && Homie Blue ghetto since 2009
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-12-19
AMP
Natural: 68
Power: 68
Instinct: 68
Dancing Mist wrote:What was the last thing that went through the bugs mind before hitting the windshield?
what?
Laura-Chan- Citizen
Number of posts : 11362
Age : 31
Fanclubs : The Pretty boy fanclub!
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2008-02-14
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
Not a Joke, but a funny Picture
Similar topics
