Poetry Thread

by **Sado** Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:21

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Post n°26

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:21

I'm most annoyed by the fact it refuses to be layed out the way I wrote it, it keeps adding in blank spaces between the lines. I guess I'll just have to rewrite it on here so it works like I intend.

And thanks you guys. It's nice to know somebody likes it.

by **Claud-kun** Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:23

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Post n°27

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Claud-kun Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:23

It was really nice A-do. Such a nice poem.

by **Sado** Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:43

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Post n°28

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Sat Mar 15 2008, 05:43

Thanks Clucky!

Oh and I retyped the whole thing for this so now it's laid out without the unneccesary double spacing and such.

by **Loki** Sat Mar 15 2008, 06:05

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Post n°29

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Loki Sat Mar 15 2008, 06:05

mung kuan wrote:

Loki wrote:The first time I fell in love, I cried.
The next time I did it, I cried again.
Why is it that every time I fall in love
I always have to cry?

After all the hurting I felt
And after all those tears
I cried,
I've come up with a promise
That I'll never love someone that way again.

But one day I woke up
With a broken promise.
I wasn't able to accept the fact
Because I woke up one morning in love with you.

I'M SO YOUR #1 FAN!!!!!

I LOVED IT...and it spoke to me....

errr...thank you?

by **Sado** Sat Mar 15 2008, 19:42

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Post n°30

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Sat Mar 15 2008, 19:42

NejiFan wrote:Well....i sorta wrote a short story but everybody considers it a poem....0.o

You should post it anyway, if it's considered poetry by everybody else then I say it's worthy of being put here!

by **mung kuan** Sun Mar 16 2008, 00:45

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Post n°31

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by mung kuan Sun Mar 16 2008, 00:45

you loved me, yet i betrayed.

you loved me, i should have stayed.

you loved me, is it a lie?

you loved me...but i wanted to die...

by **Shugo** Sun Mar 16 2008, 01:40

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Post n°32

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Shugo Sun Mar 16 2008, 01:40

these scars shal remain
the wounds closed
yet the memory burns into my soul
the blood long ago has dried
yet the pains the same
old wounds that healed
stay revealed
the mind records all
it wont let those days go
no matter the pain lasts
even if only
in a faint memory

by **KarateKeyaQ** Sun Mar 16 2008, 09:01

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Post n°33

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by KarateKeyaQ Sun Mar 16 2008, 09:01

you guys wrote these yourselves?
awesome

by **mung kuan** Mon Mar 17 2008, 01:26

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Post n°34

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by mung kuan Mon Mar 17 2008, 01:26

no matter how hard i try, you've found your way inside.
the heart that once had no pulse, now only beats for you.

please promise you'll stay, to keep forever this day, cause i know now i'm lost without you.

please, please, please, i know i'm lost but will you try, will you love me, i don't wan't the end to start, please..i just found my heart.

if you walk away, my heart will begin to die, so if you loved me, you really love me just promise me you'll try.

by **NarutoBoyFreakah** Mon Mar 17 2008, 01:40

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Post n°35

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by NarutoBoyFreakah Mon Mar 17 2008, 01:40

I wrote a Haiku...but I'd have to find it.

by **mung kuan** Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:09

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Post n°36

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by mung kuan Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:09

NarutoBoyFreakah wrote:I wrote a Haiku...but I'd have to find it.

muku see?

by **NarutoBoyFreakah** Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:18

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Post n°37

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by NarutoBoyFreakah Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:18

mung kuan wrote:

NarutoBoyFreakah wrote:I wrote a Haiku...but I'd have to find it.

muku see?

Lol I'll show you tomorrow. I'm really tired and I don't feel like looking for it. Sobbing

Sorry...

by **Sado** Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:26

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Post n°38

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:26

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

That's one right there.

by **NarutoBoyFreakah** Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:38

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Post n°39

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by NarutoBoyFreakah Mon Mar 17 2008, 02:38

...o.o

by **Sado** Mon Mar 17 2008, 03:17

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Post n°40

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Mon Mar 17 2008, 03:17

Well it is...

by **mung kuan** Tue Mar 18 2008, 03:02

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Post n°41

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by mung kuan Tue Mar 18 2008, 03:02

if i say it, it'll be a lie, but if i say it...you wont die.

if i hold you, i'll think of him, could i do that? fall to that whim?

if i kiss you, it wont be you, tell me, what would you do?

if i love you it'll be a lie, but if i love you...you wont die.

if i love you, i'll hurt him, i can't fall prey to this whim.

if you love me, you'll find someone else, don't do this, cause i wont last.

if i choose you i will die, then my true love will cry...

is that what you want?...if so...i'll give to the whim, and end this last haunt.

but remember, you were the one to pull the trigger, i was the conduet.

by **Sado** Tue Mar 18 2008, 04:12

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Post n°42

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Tue Mar 18 2008, 04:12

It was alright MK, but not great.
I think it suffers from the way it's set up. Each of your lines can easily be split into two lines at the commas (or other punctuation) That break also gives it more of a rhyme scheme which would be an added benefit in my book.
I'd also go over some of the word choices, the way it is at the moment it's very samey and it blends into the crowd of other teen angst-sounding poetry (for lack of a better phrase at the moment)
All the same keep at it, and you'll make something awesome soon enough.

And I guess I'll post something of my own

Spoiler:

by **Rikku-San** Tue Mar 18 2008, 06:39

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Post n°43

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Rikku-San Tue Mar 18 2008, 06:39

The one in my siggy ^^;

by **Sado** Thu Apr 10 2008, 03:24

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Post n°44

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Thu Apr 10 2008, 03:24

I decided this shouldn't die, but since I don't feel like posting something of my own right now I figure I'll provide you all with one of my favorite poems:

"I'm the James Dean of the dole queue
You've got to admire my cheek -
Trying to work out how to live fast and die young
On seventeen-fifty a week.
A legend in my own cubicle
All alone, never one of the mob
I'm the James Dean of the dole queue
A rebel without a job."

By Mark Lamarr but published as Mark Jones

by **KarateKeyaQ** Thu Apr 10 2008, 16:21

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Post n°45

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by KarateKeyaQ Thu Apr 10 2008, 16:21

PE0PL3 SAy iM iN D3NiAL
S0M3TiM3z i THiNK S0 T00
B3CAUS3 THE PERS0N i THiNK AB0UT TH3 M0ST
iS y0U
WHy D0 i?
i D0N’T KN0W
iF i’M iN L0V3
i W0N’T L3T iT SH0W
TH3 TiM3z W3 US3 T0 SPEND T0GETH3R
AR3 ALL L0NG G0N3 AND D3AD
i DiDN’T WANT T0 3ND THiS WAy
y0U’R3 ALWAYz iN My H3AD
WHy AR3 y0U?
i D0N’T KN0W
iF iT’S L0V3
i H0P3 iT D0SEN’T SH0W
i T3LL MyS3LF yOU’R3 C0MiNG BACK
i WANT T0 T3LL y0U T00
BUT TH3N TH3 W0RDz STAy iN My THR0AT
B3CAUSE i KN0W iT iSN’T TRU3
i KN0W yOU DON’T CAR3 ANyM0R3
i KN0W y0U HAV3 M0V3D 0N
i H0P3 yOU D0N’T KN0W H0W MUCH iT KiLLz M3
T0 KN0W 0UR L0V3 iS G0N3

i’M TRyiN T0 F0RG3T

TRyiN T0 M0V3 0N WiTH My LiF3
i DiDN’T KN0W iT’D B3 THiS HARD
i GU3SS i’M JUST THAT TyP3.
i ACT WEiRD AR0UND y0U
S0 ALL My iNSECURiTi3z W0N’T SH0W
S0 ST0P ASKiN M3 WHATz WR0NG
BECAUS3 H0NESTLy,i JUST D0N’T KN0W

by **jake989** Thu Apr 10 2008, 16:31

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Post n°46

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by jake989 Thu Apr 10 2008, 16:31

Spoiler:

I wrote some poetry

by **Sado** Mon Apr 14 2008, 02:36

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Post n°47

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by Sado Mon Apr 14 2008, 02:36

Spoiler:

And I'm sure you think the same thing about this.

by **_Crissi_** Mon Apr 14 2008, 12:23

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Post n°48

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by _Crissi_ Mon Apr 14 2008, 12:23

by night one way
by day another
this shall be the norm
until you find true loves first kiss
then take loves true form

my favorite poem ^.^

by **_Crissi_** Mon Apr 14 2008, 12:30

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Post n°49

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by _Crissi_ Mon Apr 14 2008, 12:30

Pain is my pleasure.it's in my blood
The blood spills out,from my wrist
As the razor cuts through. a sting goes up my arm
Tears in my eyes. why do i do this?
It stings, it itches,
But I can't stop. i like this feeling
Don't make it stop. it's feelings i can control
My feelings alone. no one else feels
The razors sharp edge. as it touches my wrist
They don't feel the pressure. as i push on the blade
Harder and harder. deeper and deeper
More and more blood. my pain
My pain alone. only i can take it
Only i can cause it. my razor
my wrist, my blood, my pain
.... My pleasure.

by **seshimazi** Sat Apr 19 2008, 23:28

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Post n°50

Re: Poetry Thread

Post by seshimazi Sat Apr 19 2008, 23:28

Without you
___________
No Point without you Babe
Without you There is a lifeless motion
i see no sky
i feel no pain
i hear no cry
without you Im nothing
with you Im somthing
With you here I change into something else
when your not i die
Life isnt Life without you
Theres No vibe here
no love
No motion
No peace
no pain
no hate
theres No me without You

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