poems

Depressed is midnight black
It sounds like breaking glass
It tastes like an over-ripe apple
It smells like a rotting cherry tree
Depressed feels like blood runnig down
mine hand.

like it?^^

its good^_^ a interesting dark poem.

:O Dark. I like dark poems ^_^ Nice.

thank u.
i have more if u want to hear more

Sure, lemme see 'em.

yeah^_^

ok

darkness

i see a dark sky
its calling to me
run away run away
find a new home
run to a yellow sky
i see a red sky
all i hear
is the crying of others
the crys r killing me
i want to run some were
some were i will not
hear the dark crys
dark crys of death

oooooh i like it..its deep too^_^ trying to run away frm all the pain and bloodshed.

judai12 wrote:ok

darkness

i see a dark sky
its calling to me
run away run away
find a new home
run to a yellow sky
i see a red sky
all i hear
is the crying of others
the crys r killing me
i want to run some were
some were i will not
hear the dark crys
dark crys of death

Niceeeeee. Blood! :D

thank u*happy inside*

want to hear another?

sure!

ok

dark heart dark soul
darkness in me
the darkenss won't go away
its killing me
makeing me cry
the darkenss in me
makeing me run
darkness in my heart
no one can make it go away
my dark heart and soul
makeing me bleed
crying in the dark
crying alone
darkness

oooh even better^_^ i like it.

TOO MUCH ANGST!

I was not fond of them... They came across as the overly cliched with poor meter. But that's just me, apparently theres a market for such things...

you are very mean

I'm just being honest, if you put any creative work into a public forum you have to expect that somebody won't like what you've produced.

I'm not gonna just sit here and call the things you've written deep and amazing just so you'll feel good. Lying would only hurt you as a writer by making you become complacent with your quality of writing, and hurt my integrity.

no sado you r very mean. u have to stop NOW!!!!!!!!

judai12 wrote:no sado you r very mean. u have to stop NOW!!!!!!!!

When you post something online, you should always expect a little critique. If you're open to other peoples suggestions, it will help you grow. Sado is simply pointing out that you need to work on your meter and develop original concepts. He's not doing it because he's mean

Thanks for the support Aichu.

fine what ever. but still try to be alittle nicer ok^^

judai12 wrote:Depressed is midnight black
It sounds like breaking glass
It tastes like an over-ripe apple
It smells like a rotting cherry tree
Depressed feels like blood runnig down
mine hand.

like it?^^

no.jk. its just like mine. :P

alittle.love the ava

Hearts
light,dark,shadow
all the kinds of hearts
light showing everyone
is kind,good,loveing the world
shadow showing the fear of everything
the world,people,and them self
dark showing darkness in everything
the world,people,friends
hearts




ok this is not my best poem.but it is ok i gusse

judai12 wrote:alittle.love the ava

shut up!! jk. I'm hyper.