So beautiful and calming.
+19
judai12
Choushi
D-Dei
KarateKeyaQ
inufan52
Koneko_Bozu8
knssquad
Aichu
GL
Titaniumxvx
Claud-kun
Akia
MissQoolKat
King_Of_Blades
Sasori Kung fu masta
azuki_dashi16
neon kun
theBOSS.
CrispinFreemanWatcher16
23 posters
Crispin's 2nd Poem
PeinQAkatsuki- Citizen
Number of posts : 27316
Age : 29
What's up Tab : Homie Purp && Homie Blue: Ghetto since 2009
PeinQ & ThiCup: Non-photogenic buddies~ :D
Fanclubs : Deidara FC, Kabuto FC, Jesus Freaks club, FMA FC, Tobi FC, Soul Eater FC :D, Death Note FC :D
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2008-01-25
AMP
Natural: 2
Power:
Instinct: 2
- Post n°51
Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem
InnerCherry- Citizen
Number of posts : 1119
Age : 29
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2008-08-22
AMP
Natural: 0
Power: 0
Instinct: 0
- Post n°52
Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem
absolutley perfect.
CrispinFreemanWatcher16- Citizen
Number of posts : 37490
Age : 32
Fanclubs : NaruHina & SasuSaku FC,WOTN Veteran Princes
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-08-16
AMP
Natural: 11
Power: 0
Instinct: 11
- Post n°53
Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem
thank you
Sayomi Hatake- Citizen
Number of posts : 3673
Age : 35
What's up Tab : *Munches*
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-09-29
AMP
Natural: 100
Power: 100
Instinct: 100
- Post n°54
Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem
I understand that your focusing on the dove but its a really repetitive so instead of using the same word dove try finding other words that represent the dove this way its not as repetitive and still gets your point across.
I like the first couple lines they had good rhythm and that line "As I wake each day...I'm greeted by the sun's warm and loving rays..." some really nice imagery!
I like the first couple lines they had good rhythm and that line "As I wake each day...I'm greeted by the sun's warm and loving rays..." some really nice imagery!
Last edited by Sayomi Hatake on Wed Aug 27 2008, 02:58; edited 2 times in total
CrispinFreemanWatcher16- Citizen
Number of posts : 37490
Age : 32
Fanclubs : NaruHina & SasuSaku FC,WOTN Veteran Princes
Village :
Happiness bar :
Registration date : 2007-08-16
AMP
Natural: 11
Power: 0
Instinct: 11
- Post n°55
Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem
no thank you for the criticism^___^sayomi.
yeah i use a lot of the same word a lot in this poem.
i'm amateur writer.
yeah i use a lot of the same word a lot in this poem.
i'm amateur writer.
|
|