family and decisions

heres a interesting but serious topic for you.
say a member of your family died, and your family has then decided for you what your future should be. would you follow there wishes? or would you rather do what you wanted with your life, and take the risk of upsetting your whole family?

i am actually dealing with this right now and i just wanted to see what everyone else would do in this position.

what i have chosen to do in this instance is what they chose for me is having to stay living at home and take care of a family member for the rest of my life. giving up any chance to do anything i ever wanted to do. in my case thats asking too much considering my siblings wont even consider helping.

Well families are different aren't they?

They all function in different ways.

Whats acceptable in one family may not be acceptable in another.

If it was me, it would depend on what my family wanted me to do, if I was uncomfortable or unhappy with it, I wouldn't do it, full stop.

Although if it was only short-term, or would make my mum real happy I would do it.. cause life isn't always about what you want, you know?

I would probably step back and see if what they are asking is ridiculous or reasonable.

Then from there I would decide if I was being mature or immature about it.

I agree with Clairbear. Every family is different.
If my family asked me to do that, I can honestly say I wouldn't listen and I'd do what I want.
You only have one life. Not doing what you want and like is one regret you wouldn't want to have.

Decisions like this suck. I understand your situation - I am stuck doing what my family wants me to do. Or more like what they need me to do. I wish I wasn't, but I have yet to stop. I guess it depends on what is important to you.

That's an awfully tough decision you'll have to make. It would be best if your siblings were willing to pitch in and share the burden, that way everyone's life would be a smidgeon easier.

It all comes down to what you'll regret more in the long run: not helping someone in need or not following your dreams?

It's a tough call... best wishes to you in making it.

I would be inclined towards following my dreams.
If the Family is only suffering from a death and the rest are in good shape then I would be so.

If the one members had a condition, well that would make it harder.

But before I would do anything, I would probably pray for a long time to God for guidance

And during all that praying your family member could die ^^

That sounded mean
It sounded like I was bashing you. That's not how I meant it. I mean that yes, you can pray, but don't do nothing while you wait for God to tell you what to do.

its not like they are like 1 night away from dying, otherwise they should be hospitalized.

Just take a night and pray all night

Sometimes we have no choice but to accept that which falls into our lap... my great grandmother ended up living with my grandparents in their house a good deal of her life... and find other ways of working on my dreams.

We're told if we honor our parents, we will be greatly rewarded. It has a promise.

That's what I'd hope to do in your shoes anyhow, Shugo, unless it were made clear there are other plans for me.

Tough call shugo, id say see how things play out then decide what you want to do, in my opinion if you follow your dreams you'll have that burden, But if you dont follow your dreams you'll also have the same form of burden to not know the "What if" choose carefully shugo.

thanks everyone its really hard. especially after your told one day you can do whatever you want. then suddenly your told by everyone that i have to do this. yet my sister was told oh im sorry what happened. i think its one of those gender things >.> shes free to do what she wants with her life yet im expected to halt everything and take care of everyone since im a guy. i understand that i should help my family yet its hard when my family isnt willing to take care of themselves. hopefully someday soon they realize i wasnt lying when i said i was leaving

( o_O dam latley i keep typing alot in one post or pm)

Personally I would need to know the situation before saying much. The way this is worded its really slanted in, "let me live my own life," but for all we know that might not even be the real issue here.

well q what i was trying to do was to get everyone to think more about themselves. also how they would react when approached by someone that has decided for them there life. its up to the person reading to fabricate what happened and the decision.



Me personally i know what my im going to do, and i know it will piss people off. BUT i tried for several months to do as they said. all it did was put me in a difficult position, Im now at the point that trying to help this family member is futile. They have done nothing to help themselves out. At this point I cant continue staying here with them. Im trying to help someone that is so willing to delay even the simplest task to the point that it jeopardizes not only their future but mine also.