5 Ways To Limit Mandibular Oscillation

How to Maintain
Speaking To One Another In a Whisper While Oral Exams Are Taking Place





So the
story goes as such: some students were talking while oral exams were going
along. So the teacher (aka you) decided that the best course of action was to
assign every student in the classroom with a 500 word essay. Believe me, these
students, including me, were not happy campers. Punishing an entire class for
something a few students did can only lead to frowny faces and to complaints spread
all around. Of course, my first reaction was to refuse to write this essay.
After all, I did not exceed the maximum mandibular oscillation, why should I
have to write a 500 word essay? So many years later, aka that afternoon, I
informed my parents about my future refusal to write said essay. Their
suggestion was that I not only write the essay, but I also “stick it to the
man” whatever that means. So I decided to start a list of suggestions and how
they would work. So the list starts off with number 5.





#5 Ignorance





Granted, ignoring kids while they speak probably wouldn’t work.
I happened to have attended [Insert School Name Here] Middle where quite a few teachers would
practice this method. As a result, I’ve seen many odd things there. One of
those things includes two kids getting up in front of the classroom and
executing a dance called the Running Man. Okay, I have to admit; one of those
kids was me. However, it goes to show you that ignoring kids can lead to dance-offs in the middle of class. Do you really want dance-offs? Well, I sure do.
Ignore away! Dance offs are the perfect distraction for talkative kids. In
fact, since distractions work so well, why not try….





#4 Monkeys Parasailing On a Unicycle





One may ask why. I will ask why not. Any monkey that can
parasail is a good old chap. Any monkey that can do said action while on a
unicycle would be my best friend. A monkey parasailing on a unicycle is not
only cool, but just beautiful. Any child willing to talk during such a
miraculous and sacred event deserves the next suggestion.





#3 Duct Tape





Ever heard of the saying “Silence is golden, but duct tape
is silver”? There is a reason that
saying is found on countless shirts. First, because it is just plain hilarious.
Second, because it has a truth applied to it. Why yes, duct tape does make
people shut up. That’s why it’s the number one prop in movies where kidnapping
is involved. Of course, if you have to rely on this method, which by the way is
most likely illegal (never mind, it is definitely illegal), then why not go for
broke and try…





#2 Monkeys Parasailing On a Unicycle While Using Duct Tape





This combines two enjoyable past times. The first one is
monkeys parasailing on a unicycle. The second is the joy of duct tape. Who
doesn’t love duct tape? This method would distract the quiet kids and mute the
loud ones! This is killing two birds with one stone, if that stone was made of duct
tape and monkeys.





#1 Accepting the Fact That Some Students Will Always Be
Talkers





There are some kids that will not be quiet. These are the
kids who would look at your request for silence and reply, “Why, what is this
silence? Is it a type of cheese?” They would thwart all attempts made at
tranquility, whether it be ripping through duct tape with gums of steel or cutting
the ropes that keep the parasailing monkeys from falling in the water. However,
it is possible to temporarily deter said children, and that is by assigning
them to write a 500 word essay. Not that it would work, but one could try.