Meika's list of reasons why girls are scary [1~15]

This is a work in progress! I'll update from time to time, or just make new blogs or whatever, but this is my rather amusing list, if I must say so myself. It's more hysterical when you can see me with my hand gestures and funny voices, but this will have to do for now. Enjoy~
[btw this is not directed at women in general, but ehh... okay I'm done.]

It's also why girls are annoying. >w>;

1. Nails. Need I say much? I mean those things are KILLER.
   
2. Hair. Honestly? When you get whipped in the face with that thing, it hurts SO freaking much. It's like super pain. And it's worse when it's braided that stuff can KILL.
   
3. Hair. Because it deserves two posts. That shampoo you're using? I can smell it from over here. 15 meters away. Really? I mean, apple is totally cool. I love apple. I just don't like smelling it ALL the time no matter HOW far I'm away from you.
   
4. Perfume. Yeah, that perfume too? I mean. It smells bad. Really bad. Did you know they put 'essene of skunk' in that really super expensive perfume you're wearing? It lingers in the air for hours and it spreads around the air faster than I can eat bacon. And seriously, that's fast.
   
5. Lotion. No one likes sweaty hands. No one likes hands so slippery that they slip through your grasp either. Or when I'm trying to hand you something andy our hands are so lotioned up that I can't give you it cause it'll slip out of your hands. I understand your hands are dry. But you don't need fifteen freaking ounces of that stuff for your two hands.
   
6. Make up. I understand you have zits. That's probably because you coat your entire freaking face with a layer of make up two inches thick. Okay, I can understand if you use eyeliner or mascara. Kinda. I will never understand how you don't stab yourself in the eye with it, but I can understand. But you blond girl in the corner who has about four pounds of make up on, not only does it SMELL, you're destroying your skin, and the freaking powders are in the air, making it impossible to breathe. Please stand 30 meters away, any closer, and I think I'll choke on the over crowded make up air.
   
7. Voices. Some girls have nice, low, soothing voices. Some have mid ranged voices. And some have scratchy, high, extremely loud voices. Please. Spare my eardrums. I already damage them enough with my ipod. Please. I wanna be able to hear when I'm 40.
   
8. Resistance to cold. It's -40 degrees outside, and I'm in snowpants and a snowjacket. You are in a miniskirt and uggs, with a tube top. Uhm. Are you like lavaman? Why? Aren't you cold?
   
9. Whinnyness. Uhm. Like I said. It's -20 outside, and you're in spandex with nothing over it, and a tank top. Don't complain it's cold. If you really wanted to be warm, you'd be wearing snow pants like me. I may be chubby, but I'm WARM.
   
10. Jewlery. I mean, I love shiny stuff. I LOVE SHINY STUFF. I can stare at it for hours. I have my little rings and diamond neckalces and gold chains and all that jazz. Little stuff. But when you have a gargatuan diamond the size of your fist that glitters and glitters and glitters some more like a freaking disco ball in the middle of the saraha desert, please step away from me. I'm blinded. Slightly. And extremely distracted.
    
11. Spandex. I mean really. Put on some pants please. Wearing spandex tights does not subsitute for pants.
    
12. Heels. Those things are PAINFUL. How girls can walk in 4 inch stellitos for hours at a time will always be a mystery to me. Not to mention those things are PAINFUL when you stomp on someone's foot with them.
    
13. Nail Polish. I understand it's pretty, i understand you like it. I don't understand why you must apply globs of it EVERY DAY and SPREAD THAT PUTRID STENTCH all over my area. Please. Some space please.
    
14. Clothing. I have a lot of clothes. I know. But I don't wear like 9/10ths of it, and it is quietly stored in boxes in the back of my closet, nice and out of sight. However, your closet is about the size of my bedroom. And I have a big bedroom. Do you never run out of clothing?
    
15. Pretending to be stupid. Really? Are you that desperate to have a boy notice you that you pretend to be stupid and clutzy all the time so you seem 'cute'? I mean I know most men are stupid, but the ones that actually COUNT would, I'm fairly sure, rather have a girl that could hold an intelligent converstaion. Just what I think, personally.
    

And that is reasons 1~15!

I have like 97 or so. I'll post up them all later. :D