by I wanted to be different and write something worthy of confusing my English
teacher. Did I mention I am horrible at English? Well, I am, but that doesn’t
stop me from writing this horrible typette!
Essay Prompt: Describe your perfect
spring day. What do you like to do outside?
Ah, yes. The perfect spring
day. Granted, I hate the outdoors. I hate the bugs, the bright sunshine, even
the little birds chirping out one’s window when one is trying to take an
extended afternoon nap. Granted, one could call me crazy. Hey, I’m downright
insane, but my perfect spring day needs to be fun. Well, not fun for others,
but fun for me; and if anybody knows me, then they should know I like violence,
chaos, and food!
The perfect spring day
would start early, about 2 PM. As I stretched, at exactly 2:01 PM, Belgian
waffles would rain from the sky! All the little birds chirping would be
pummeled by steaming waffles. Happily, I would skip outside and have the
breakfast of champions in the afternoon.
At 3:13 PM, a passer-by would just happen to be
passing by as the ICE CREAM TRUCK OF DOOM with spikes for wheels and evilly
frosted popsicles would swerve out of the way of the passer-by, running into a
fire hydrant and causing a massive explosion! Boom! Whoosh! Luckily, the ice cream
would remain chilled while people ran around on fire. Then I would have the
snack of warriors, ice cream on fire. See? This day isn’t coming along that bad
is it? ;P
After watching new episodes of That 70s Show (I
know that series ended, but on my perfect day, I demand new episodes!) my
homework would accidentally and spontaneously combust. The fire
sprinklers would turn on and a genie would fall out the sprinklers. He would
put out the fire, but not quick enough to save any of the homework. In a
bellowing voice, the genie would …uhhh… bellow “I will give you 2.5 wishes!
What do you desire?” After kicking away some the homework-y ashes, I would say
“I desire-
This essay was
brought to you by Insanity!
Insanity: Has you
check your pillows for leprechauns recently?
…and the flying walruses and I would all eat pie
and live happily ever after.
The End!
