Facade
Summary: It’s all been a facade, every smile, every laugh, every prank, it’s all been a facade. Naruto watched the blood stream out of his arms, fascinated. I’ve tried killing myself several times before but every time that stupid fox always heals me... (Shonen-ai, SasuNaru)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, if I did the plot line might be a little more dark and complex.
‘It’s all been a facade, all of it. Every smile, every laugh, every prank, it’s all been a facade. I wish I could’ve shown my true emotions, my true colors, but that would only make the villagers hate me even more.’ Naruto picked up a kunai, a very special kunai that he only used for one purpose, and slid it across his wrist completely slitting the veins open.
Naruto watched the crimson liquid stream out of his arms in fascination. ‘Sure I know this isn’t the first time I’ve done this and yet every time I do I find it more and more fascinating. I also know that every time I do this it becomes harder and harder to stop, I know I could never give it up completely no matter how hard I try, I’d know, I’ve tried stopping so many times I can’t count. Every time I try to stop I manage it for a day to a week before something happens that makes me come back to it.’
Naruto watched as the wound stopped bleeding and turned into a scab. ‘I’ve tried killing myself this way several times before but every time that stupid fox either lets me pass out and then heals my wounds or heals them before very much blood is spilt.’ Naruto sighed as he looked at the scabs. ‘I suppose I should put on that accursed jumpsuit and go meet the team for training.’ Naruto sighed again as he stood up and tried to walk to his closet but instead found himself falling. ‘What’s going on? I’ve been doing this for eight years and yet this has never happened before... Am I finally going to die? Am I finally going to have peace?’ Naruto had a small smile on his face at the thought before he passed out.
Kakashi
Kakashi stood in front of the KIA monument staring at the names of his loved ones. ‘Obito, Rin, Sensei, I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.’ Kakashi sighed and looked up at the sky. ‘From the position the sun is in I’d say I’m late and Naruto is gonna kill me.’ He thought lazily as he sighed again.
“Kakashi Hatake.” A ninja called from behind him.
Kakashi turned. “What is it?”
“Sasuke Uchiha has returned to the village and the Hokage wanted you in her office five minutes ago.”
Kakashi stared at the ninja in disbelief. “Understood.” He said running in the direction of Hokage tower. ‘At least now I have a reason as to why I’m late...’ Kakashi thought as he entered the window of Tsunade’s office.
“Kakashi! About time you got here!” Tsunade hissed. “Even if this is pretty early for you.” She muttered.
“Hehe, sorry about that, I came as soon as I’d heard.”
“Hn, what’s wrong? A black cat pass your path?” Sasuke asked from his position by the door with his many ANBU guards.
Kakashi blinked. “No, the ninja just had a little trouble finding me, that’s all. And are you throwing a party for every ANBU in the village? From the amount that are standing around you...” Kakashi smirked under his mask when Sasuke sent the “famous Uchiha death glare” at him.
“A party for all the ANBU...” Tsunade said thoughtfully. “Yes that could work. Tiger!”
“Yes, Hokage-sama?” Tiger asked.
“I want your team to follow Sasuke around the village. Don’t let him out of your sight.”
“Hai, Hokage-sama.” Tiger replied unenthusiastic.
“Your team will move into Sasuke’s house and you can throw parties for all the ANBU whenever you want. That is all, you’re all dismissed.”
“Hai!” Yelled all the ANBU that weren’t on Tiger’s team and then all but that team disappeared.
“Well what are you waiting for?” Tsunade asked. “Kakashi, I assume you were about to go meet your team for training?”
“That is correct.” Kakashi said warily.
“Well what are you waiting for? Go! Sasuke, go with him!”
“Hai.” Was Sasuke’s unenthusiastic reply.
Kakashi went out the door and walked slowly to the bridge were Team Kakashi met (the ANBU were following discreetly). “So Sasuke,” Sasuke glanced at Kakashi for a moment. “Did you kill your brother?”
“Yes.” Sasuke replied as the bridge and it’s two occupants came into view.
Kakashi’s brow creased. ‘That’s weird, there should be three people there... Where’s Naruto?’
Sakura saw Kakashi approaching and ran to him obviously worried. “Kakashi!” She screamed however the words she was about to say died on her lips as soon as she saw Sasuke. Her eyes widened and she took a step back. “Sasuke-kun.”
Sasuke glanced at her for a moment before glaring at Sai who had walked up behind her. “Sakura.” He acknowledged.
“When did you get back?” Sakura asked, still in shock.
“Earlier.”
Sakura smiled. “It’s nice to have you home.”
“Hn.” Sasuke glanced first at Kakashi then at Sakura then finally at Sai. “Where’s Naruto?”
Sakura’s eyes widened. “Kakashi! Naruto hasn’t shown up yet and he’s always on time! I’m starting to get worried.”
“And I also.” Sai said. “This isn’t like Naruto at all, he is always on time.” Sai looked up at the sky for a moment. “I have a feeling something bad has happened.”
Kakashi narrowed his eye. “We’ll go to apartment and see if he home.”
“Hai!” Sakura and Sai yelled.
“Hn.” Was Sasuke’s response.
When they arrived at the apartment they knocked on the door, when Naruto didn’t answer they got even more worried.
“Does anyone know if Naruto has a spare key? Or better yet, did Naruto give you a spare key?” Kakashi asked.
“No.” Sakura said sadly.
“He spoke about having a spare key once but never said where he kept it.” Sai said staring at the door.
Sasuke sighed and ran his fingers over the top of the doorframe removing a key covered in dust. “Let’s just hope the dobe didn’t do something smart like change his locks.” Sasuke inserted the key into the door and turned it.
The door opened and the team was faced with the smell of blood.
“Naruto?” Sakura asked cautiously entering the curiously clean apartment. “Naruto?” She called again. “Naruto!” She screamed when she saw him lying on the floor as pale as death.
She rushed over to him and immediately checked his life signs and gasped when she felt for his pulse.
“What is it, Sakura?” Kakashi asked from his spot not to far away by the pool of blood Naruto had left.
“His heartbeat is incredibly slow; he’s lucky to still be alive.” She said as she quickly did hand signs for a healing jutsu. “Someone go get Tsunade!”
Naruto’s mindscape
Naruto sighed as he realized he wasn’t dead, just in his mindscape. “Stupid fox.” He muttered stomping off in the direction of Kyuubi’s cage.
“Well, so he survives yet another attempt to kill himself.” Kyuubi said as he watched Naruto enter the room.
“Stupid fox! Why can’t you just leave me alone?! Why can’t you just let me die?!”
“It’s not your time to die yet, kid.”
“In other words: ‘If you die, I, the almighty Kyuubi die too and I really don’t feel like dying today’. Am I right?”
“Hehehe.” Kyuubi chuckled evilly. “When are you gonna learn that no matter how hard you try to kill yourself you’ll always be stopped? You seem happy enough half the time anyway.”
Naruto glared at Kyuubi with an intensity that almost made the demon take a step back. “You know perfectly well what happens in my head, Kyuubi. You know that the ‘happy’ is all just a facade so the villagers don’t know they’ve accomplished making me wish I was dead. You know I’ve been this way since I was eight, so don’t tell me I’m ‘happy enough half the time anyway’.” Naruto growled.
“Look, kid, if you want to die you could at least go out with some dignity by letting me loose.”
“Why would I do that?” Naruto asked angrily. “If I’m going down I’m taking you with me! After all it’s your fault the villagers hate me, it’s your fault I wish I was dead. One of these days I’ll figure out how to kill myself without you interfering!”
Kyuubi just laughed. “You’ve only managed to come so close to dying once and that was because of that medic nin Kabuto and even then you were saved by Tsunade.” Kyuubi laughed again. “Don’t talk to me about killing yourself in someway where I can’t save you, ‘cause it’s impossible!”
“Nothing.” Naruto said in a voice so dark that actually did make the Kyuubi take a step back. “Nothing, is impossible if you try hard enough.”
“Then why don’t you tell yourself that, kid? If nothing is impossible, why do you think it’s impossible for you to live?”
“The villagers hate me! Everyone hates me! I’ve tried to make people care but it’s impossible!”
“Nothing is impossible; you said it yourself, kid.”
Naruto began to shake with anger as he battled off tears. “I’ve been trying as long as I can remember! I’ve never had friends! Not true ones! The only true friend I thought I had was Sasuke, but he proved me wrong on the day he left! I had started getting better, I wasn’t cutting as often and was on missions more so I didn’t have to deal with the villagers, and I thought I had a friend. For the first time in my life I felt wanted, safe, cared for, but that all crumbled away on the day he left!”
The sewer began to shake and stones began to fall from the ceiling.
Kyuubi went into the corner of his cage watching Naruto carefully. “When you fell this far into the darkness, I'm not sure, but all I know is your anger is so much it’s destroying your mind. Either you’ll completely lose your sanity this time or you’ll die if you aren’t saved.”
Naruto looked at Kyuubi. “I’d prefer to die.” And everything went black.
This is my first fic posted here, please let me know what you think of it! (this will have 12-13 chapters) Thanks!
Summary: It’s all been a facade, every smile, every laugh, every prank, it’s all been a facade. Naruto watched the blood stream out of his arms, fascinated. I’ve tried killing myself several times before but every time that stupid fox always heals me... (Shonen-ai, SasuNaru)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, if I did the plot line might be a little more dark and complex.
‘It’s all been a facade, all of it. Every smile, every laugh, every prank, it’s all been a facade. I wish I could’ve shown my true emotions, my true colors, but that would only make the villagers hate me even more.’ Naruto picked up a kunai, a very special kunai that he only used for one purpose, and slid it across his wrist completely slitting the veins open.
Naruto watched the crimson liquid stream out of his arms in fascination. ‘Sure I know this isn’t the first time I’ve done this and yet every time I do I find it more and more fascinating. I also know that every time I do this it becomes harder and harder to stop, I know I could never give it up completely no matter how hard I try, I’d know, I’ve tried stopping so many times I can’t count. Every time I try to stop I manage it for a day to a week before something happens that makes me come back to it.’
Naruto watched as the wound stopped bleeding and turned into a scab. ‘I’ve tried killing myself this way several times before but every time that stupid fox either lets me pass out and then heals my wounds or heals them before very much blood is spilt.’ Naruto sighed as he looked at the scabs. ‘I suppose I should put on that accursed jumpsuit and go meet the team for training.’ Naruto sighed again as he stood up and tried to walk to his closet but instead found himself falling. ‘What’s going on? I’ve been doing this for eight years and yet this has never happened before... Am I finally going to die? Am I finally going to have peace?’ Naruto had a small smile on his face at the thought before he passed out.
Kakashi
Kakashi stood in front of the KIA monument staring at the names of his loved ones. ‘Obito, Rin, Sensei, I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.’ Kakashi sighed and looked up at the sky. ‘From the position the sun is in I’d say I’m late and Naruto is gonna kill me.’ He thought lazily as he sighed again.
“Kakashi Hatake.” A ninja called from behind him.
Kakashi turned. “What is it?”
“Sasuke Uchiha has returned to the village and the Hokage wanted you in her office five minutes ago.”
Kakashi stared at the ninja in disbelief. “Understood.” He said running in the direction of Hokage tower. ‘At least now I have a reason as to why I’m late...’ Kakashi thought as he entered the window of Tsunade’s office.
“Kakashi! About time you got here!” Tsunade hissed. “Even if this is pretty early for you.” She muttered.
“Hehe, sorry about that, I came as soon as I’d heard.”
“Hn, what’s wrong? A black cat pass your path?” Sasuke asked from his position by the door with his many ANBU guards.
Kakashi blinked. “No, the ninja just had a little trouble finding me, that’s all. And are you throwing a party for every ANBU in the village? From the amount that are standing around you...” Kakashi smirked under his mask when Sasuke sent the “famous Uchiha death glare” at him.
“A party for all the ANBU...” Tsunade said thoughtfully. “Yes that could work. Tiger!”
“Yes, Hokage-sama?” Tiger asked.
“I want your team to follow Sasuke around the village. Don’t let him out of your sight.”
“Hai, Hokage-sama.” Tiger replied unenthusiastic.
“Your team will move into Sasuke’s house and you can throw parties for all the ANBU whenever you want. That is all, you’re all dismissed.”
“Hai!” Yelled all the ANBU that weren’t on Tiger’s team and then all but that team disappeared.
“Well what are you waiting for?” Tsunade asked. “Kakashi, I assume you were about to go meet your team for training?”
“That is correct.” Kakashi said warily.
“Well what are you waiting for? Go! Sasuke, go with him!”
“Hai.” Was Sasuke’s unenthusiastic reply.
Kakashi went out the door and walked slowly to the bridge were Team Kakashi met (the ANBU were following discreetly). “So Sasuke,” Sasuke glanced at Kakashi for a moment. “Did you kill your brother?”
“Yes.” Sasuke replied as the bridge and it’s two occupants came into view.
Kakashi’s brow creased. ‘That’s weird, there should be three people there... Where’s Naruto?’
Sakura saw Kakashi approaching and ran to him obviously worried. “Kakashi!” She screamed however the words she was about to say died on her lips as soon as she saw Sasuke. Her eyes widened and she took a step back. “Sasuke-kun.”
Sasuke glanced at her for a moment before glaring at Sai who had walked up behind her. “Sakura.” He acknowledged.
“When did you get back?” Sakura asked, still in shock.
“Earlier.”
Sakura smiled. “It’s nice to have you home.”
“Hn.” Sasuke glanced first at Kakashi then at Sakura then finally at Sai. “Where’s Naruto?”
Sakura’s eyes widened. “Kakashi! Naruto hasn’t shown up yet and he’s always on time! I’m starting to get worried.”
“And I also.” Sai said. “This isn’t like Naruto at all, he is always on time.” Sai looked up at the sky for a moment. “I have a feeling something bad has happened.”
Kakashi narrowed his eye. “We’ll go to apartment and see if he home.”
“Hai!” Sakura and Sai yelled.
“Hn.” Was Sasuke’s response.
When they arrived at the apartment they knocked on the door, when Naruto didn’t answer they got even more worried.
“Does anyone know if Naruto has a spare key? Or better yet, did Naruto give you a spare key?” Kakashi asked.
“No.” Sakura said sadly.
“He spoke about having a spare key once but never said where he kept it.” Sai said staring at the door.
Sasuke sighed and ran his fingers over the top of the doorframe removing a key covered in dust. “Let’s just hope the dobe didn’t do something smart like change his locks.” Sasuke inserted the key into the door and turned it.
The door opened and the team was faced with the smell of blood.
“Naruto?” Sakura asked cautiously entering the curiously clean apartment. “Naruto?” She called again. “Naruto!” She screamed when she saw him lying on the floor as pale as death.
She rushed over to him and immediately checked his life signs and gasped when she felt for his pulse.
“What is it, Sakura?” Kakashi asked from his spot not to far away by the pool of blood Naruto had left.
“His heartbeat is incredibly slow; he’s lucky to still be alive.” She said as she quickly did hand signs for a healing jutsu. “Someone go get Tsunade!”
Naruto’s mindscape
Naruto sighed as he realized he wasn’t dead, just in his mindscape. “Stupid fox.” He muttered stomping off in the direction of Kyuubi’s cage.
“Well, so he survives yet another attempt to kill himself.” Kyuubi said as he watched Naruto enter the room.
“Stupid fox! Why can’t you just leave me alone?! Why can’t you just let me die?!”
“It’s not your time to die yet, kid.”
“In other words: ‘If you die, I, the almighty Kyuubi die too and I really don’t feel like dying today’. Am I right?”
“Hehehe.” Kyuubi chuckled evilly. “When are you gonna learn that no matter how hard you try to kill yourself you’ll always be stopped? You seem happy enough half the time anyway.”
Naruto glared at Kyuubi with an intensity that almost made the demon take a step back. “You know perfectly well what happens in my head, Kyuubi. You know that the ‘happy’ is all just a facade so the villagers don’t know they’ve accomplished making me wish I was dead. You know I’ve been this way since I was eight, so don’t tell me I’m ‘happy enough half the time anyway’.” Naruto growled.
“Look, kid, if you want to die you could at least go out with some dignity by letting me loose.”
“Why would I do that?” Naruto asked angrily. “If I’m going down I’m taking you with me! After all it’s your fault the villagers hate me, it’s your fault I wish I was dead. One of these days I’ll figure out how to kill myself without you interfering!”
Kyuubi just laughed. “You’ve only managed to come so close to dying once and that was because of that medic nin Kabuto and even then you were saved by Tsunade.” Kyuubi laughed again. “Don’t talk to me about killing yourself in someway where I can’t save you, ‘cause it’s impossible!”
“Nothing.” Naruto said in a voice so dark that actually did make the Kyuubi take a step back. “Nothing, is impossible if you try hard enough.”
“Then why don’t you tell yourself that, kid? If nothing is impossible, why do you think it’s impossible for you to live?”
“The villagers hate me! Everyone hates me! I’ve tried to make people care but it’s impossible!”
“Nothing is impossible; you said it yourself, kid.”
Naruto began to shake with anger as he battled off tears. “I’ve been trying as long as I can remember! I’ve never had friends! Not true ones! The only true friend I thought I had was Sasuke, but he proved me wrong on the day he left! I had started getting better, I wasn’t cutting as often and was on missions more so I didn’t have to deal with the villagers, and I thought I had a friend. For the first time in my life I felt wanted, safe, cared for, but that all crumbled away on the day he left!”
The sewer began to shake and stones began to fall from the ceiling.
Kyuubi went into the corner of his cage watching Naruto carefully. “When you fell this far into the darkness, I'm not sure, but all I know is your anger is so much it’s destroying your mind. Either you’ll completely lose your sanity this time or you’ll die if you aren’t saved.”
Naruto looked at Kyuubi. “I’d prefer to die.” And everything went black.
This is my first fic posted here, please let me know what you think of it! (this will have 12-13 chapters) Thanks!
Last edited by Takara Uchiha on Mon Jul 14 2008, 13:14; edited 3 times in total