'Funny Things That People Say'

One of my guy friends was being annoying, so to shut him up and damage his ego I said "The day you become a man is the day I become a flying squirrel! And that's never going to happen!"
The whole class burst into laughter.

Me and my friend were joking around and I told him, "Got to hell."
He said, "I can't. My wife won't let me, she's got me chained up."

Me:"Mom, do you have any batteries?"
Mom:"Do I look like a store to you?"

^ Creepy.

Q! D:>
Egg..I had something to say. >_>'
OhOh

Me: You know, koala bears can get STDs?
Friend: They think they're trying to reproduce, but they're killing off their species D:>

Not very funny, but I laughed

BWAHAHAHA!! I laughed at both resh and the new person's posts :D

:O
Me and Cleverbot are singing!

Nate: Helladank.

Spoiler:

xD

haha

UreshiiChan wrote: Q! D:>
Egg..I had something to say. >_>'
OhOh

Me: You know, koala bears can get STDs?
Friend: They think they're trying to reproduce, but they're killing off their species D:>

Not very funny, but I laughed

xD;;
Wow~

Today in Bio.

Master Kang: What's the process in which glucose is split into two pyruvates?
Justin: Glycolysis!
MK: Yes, glycolysis. Where does it take place?
David: Mitochondria!
MK: SHUT UP, DOUCHEBAG (David). It's the SHYTOPLASM, you dumb shit.
-
MK: Hey, new kid. (Some new kid who moved here from Texas) Where you from? Dallas? Houston?
New Kid (I forgot his name..): Houston.
MK: Do they got Asians where you used to go?
New Kid: Yeah.
MK: Fobs?
NK: Yeah.
MK: ...Do they got H-Marts there?
NK: Yeah?
MK: Dammit, these freaking Koreans are taking over! They're fucking everywhere!
-
MK: Enzymes are like hos. They can be used over and over again.

^ That's one interesting teacher. xD

That's what I was gonna say xD

haha xD

Teacher's a jerk!

But an amusing jerk to those not involved. :D

My brother about something, probably me declaring I'd crash into cars nearby and kill zem all for driving like idiots: But that'd be murder [Q]!
Me: Hey, I am offended by the term murder, kay? I prefer Life cancellation manager or life unsubscriber or Life terminator.
Bro: Eh, that last one isn't very good.
Me: Er, you're right. Still, you have no idea how hard it is to unsubscribe people to life. They are very persistent and it is a tiring job. In fact, I should be treated with extra respect for the sacrifices I am willing to make.


Not sure if it's funny to anyone outside the weirdness of my brother and I, but it was an interesting conversation coming up with politically correct names for Murder.

My sister and I went to eat lunch with her boyfriend and his little bother. We started talking about horoscopes. (Tom is my sister's boyfriend and Serg is his little brother.)

Me:"So, I'm a goat. What are you?"
Sister:"I'm a horse."
Tom:"I'm a Ram."
Serg:"Rat."
Tom:"You're not a goat. You're a ram."
Me:"No I'm a goat."
Tom:"No. You're a ram."
Me:"According to my Chinese zodiac, I'm a goat."
Tom:"Ram."
Me:"Goat."
Tom:"Ram."
Me:"You weren't there when I was looking at it!"
Sister:"Burn. So what element are you guys?"
Me:"...I'm wood."
They all looked at me funny.
Sister:"There's earth,water,fire,wind,water,wood,-"
Me:"So there is wood? I was just messing around."
Sister:"Metal and I think that's it. I don't know if there's anymore.I'm metal"
Tom and Serg:" I don't know."
Me:"......I'm dirt."

I don't know it was funny at the time. ^^;;They all started laughing and couldn't eat anymore after that.

lol

Funny Moment on WoTN... I thought it was funny 8D

Q: That makes sense. Shoes are often what leads to inappropriate behavior.
"Dude! Did you see the shoes on that gal?"

"Heck yeah! I'mma tie
that!"

PQ: "Gonna scuff that shoe all up!"

^ i so remember that from the bar!!!

My little sister's friend took her necklace and decided to give it back to her.(Dave is her friend)
Dave:"Here you go, From the bottom of my heart."
little sister:"Why the bottom?"


I don't know I thought it was funny.^^;;