5 Ways To Limit Mandibular Oscillation

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    knssquad
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    5 Ways To Limit Mandibular Oscillation

    Post by knssquad

    Well, the story behind this essay is this: two days ago, 3 kids in my classroom were talking during a mini quiz so everybody was assigned an essay. Since I am who I am, I was pretty darn ticked since I wasn't talking. Well, I decided at first to refuse to write the essay, but then my parents said that I should be evil and just write the essay. This is my masterpiece that I am turning in tomorrow.






    How to Maintain
    Speaking To One Another In a Whisper While Oral Exams Are Taking Place






    So the
    story goes as such: some students were talking while oral exams were going
    along. So the teacher (aka you) decided that the best course of action was to
    assign every student in the classroom with a 500 word essay. Believe me, these
    students, including me, were not happy campers. Punishing an entire class for
    something a few students did can only lead to frowny faces and to complaints spread
    all around. Of course, my first reaction was to refuse to write this essay.
    After all, I did not exceed the maximum mandibular oscillation, why should I
    have to write a 500 word essay? So many years later, aka that afternoon, I
    informed my parents about my future refusal to write said essay. Their
    suggestion was that I not only write the essay, but I also “stick it to the
    man” whatever that means. So I decided to start a list of suggestions and how
    they would work. So the list starts off with number 5.





    #5 Ignorance





    Granted, ignoring kids while they speak probably wouldn’t work.
    I happened to have attended [Insert School Name Here] Middle where quite a few teachers would
    practice this method. As a result, I’ve seen many odd things there. One of
    those things includes two kids getting up in front of the classroom and
    executing a dance called the Running Man. Okay, I have to admit; one of those
    kids was me. However, it goes to show you that ignoring kids can lead to dance-offs in the middle of class. Do you really want dance-offs? Well, I sure do.
    Ignore away! Dance offs are the perfect distraction for talkative kids. In
    fact, since distractions work so well, why not try….





    #4 Monkeys Parasailing On a Unicycle





    One may ask why. I will ask why not. Any monkey that can
    parasail is a good old chap. Any monkey that can do said action while on a
    unicycle would be my best friend. A monkey parasailing on a unicycle is not
    only cool, but just beautiful. Any child willing to talk during such a
    miraculous and sacred event deserves the next suggestion.





    #3 Duct Tape





    Ever heard of the saying “Silence is golden, but duct tape
    is silver”? There is a reason that
    saying is found on countless shirts. First, because it is just plain hilarious.
    Second, because it has a truth applied to it. Why yes, duct tape does make
    people shut up. That’s why it’s the number one prop in movies where kidnapping
    is involved. Of course, if you have to rely on this method, which by the way is
    most likely illegal (never mind, it is definitely illegal), then why not go for
    broke and try…





    #2 Monkeys Parasailing On a Unicycle While Using Duct Tape





    This combines two enjoyable past times. The first one is
    monkeys parasailing on a unicycle. The second is the joy of duct tape. Who
    doesn’t love duct tape? This method would distract the quiet kids and mute the
    loud ones! This is killing two birds with one stone, if that stone was made of duct
    tape and monkeys.





    #1 Accepting the Fact That Some Students Will Always Be
    Talkers





    There are some kids that will not be quiet. These are the
    kids who would look at your request for silence and reply, “Why, what is this
    silence? Is it a type of cheese?” They would thwart all attempts made at
    tranquility, whether it be ripping through duct tape with gums of steel or cutting
    the ropes that keep the parasailing monkeys from falling in the water. However,
    it is possible to temporarily deter said children, and that is by assigning
    them to write a 500 word essay. Not that it would work, but one could try.

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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 18:18 by quater

    Well I like it!
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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 18:22 by knssquad

    Thanks! I try my best :D
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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 18:27 by quater

    It was fun ^_^ And obnoxious, which is the best kind of fun.
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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 18:29 by xXxsweetxmakikoxXx

    Oh my Kns, that is a good way to put it. I would love to see what your teacher says about that ^_^ Funny that made my day
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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 18:31 by knssquad

    XD I try my best. It was very fun to write too!
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    Post on Wed Feb 10 2010, 19:21 by D-Dei

    Haha, nice, knssy.
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    Post on Thu Feb 11 2010, 10:21 by Mikel

    that was hilarious. =P
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    Post on Thu Feb 11 2010, 18:01 by Toshii

    i love it XD
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    Post on Thu Feb 11 2010, 18:39 by knssquad

    Thanks :3

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