Author's Note: We yet again have released an unedited edition. So, this isn't perfect. Please bear with it.
WOTNopolis Christmas
WOTNopolis was alive with energy and sparkling lights. The streets were filled with thugs, doing what thugs do during Christmas. Which in WOTNopolis, that's hanging up lights, signs, and of course, for the occasional thug, that's mistletoe. Lights have been showing up across the city since November was tossed into yestermonth. Ever seen a thug put up pink lights outside his stretch of a hideout? Does the sight strike as unusual? About that you'd be completely mistaken. Not only is it completely common but its very fashionable. Any gangster not seen putting up fantabulous lights during Christmas is, well, how do we put it, such a bumpkin.
Amaneezer Scrooge gazed at the sky of colorful lights. “Bah Humbug!” he shouted from his office window. Nothing made his day worse than seeing festivities. “Nothing's worse, I tells ya! Nothing's worse! Giddy hearts. Happiness! Even the city's worst are out celebrating a crock holiday. Baaah humbug!”
A knock hit his door. “Hello, Amaneezer. I've brought you some candy canes and homeade Christmas cupcakes,” Bob Cratchakeya Q said as she tiptoed into the room.
“Bah hum-” Amaneezer started.
“If you're gonna say bug stop it. That's annoying,” Cratchakeya Q whined. “Speaking of Christmas, can I come in five minutes late to work tomorrow it being Christmas and all?”
“No! If you do I'll dock you a half day's wages!” Amaneezer crowed.
“Pff, I'm not coming in at all. I don't work for you. I'm a sergeant too,” Cratchakeya Q pointed at her star. “Have a muffin.”
“Then why did you ask?” Amaneezer asked confused.
“Bugging you is fun?” Cratchakeya Q hopped out the door after handing Amaneezer a cinnamon flavored muffin. Christmas special. Amaneezer set to beating his cupcakes with a file of paper work when a voice came from the door.
“Hello, Mr. Amaneezer,” a voice whispered through the room. Amaneezer looked up and jumped for his gun but the green giant had already reached him and stopped him cold. “No need for weapons, I come to you as an Ally.”
“But, you are, I mean, you're!” Amaneezer stuttered.
“I know who I am, but this is not about gangs, wars, or battles. This is about something bigger. It's about defeating Christmas,” the large man sighed.
Amaneezer snorted. “Hmph, it can't be done. I've tried being sad and as down in the dumps as I can. I've tried bringing people's spirits down. I've tried saying how it's just another day. It didn't do a thing, I tells ya! I even reminded people how high suicide rates were, or how Christmas isn't even a real Holiday but it's based on pagan slaughtering of pigs.”
The figure nodded. “Don't worry, Mr. Amaneezer. Your pessimism didn't go unnoticed. You have ruined many people's holiday spirits. And for that, you should be proud. But it's still not enough to destroy Christmas. No, I am suggesting something radical. Something that will make people see Christmas is just another day!”
Large hands landed against the wall in a fist. “I hate this Holiday, I really do. I hate all the lights, and all the toys, too! I hate the trees and I hate the food. I hate how everyone is in a happy mood! I don't like the fun and I don't like the cold. I hate this holiday, hate it old!”
“But how do we stop it? How do we defeat it, The First Grinch?” Amaneezer asked.
The First Grinch looked slowly at his dispirited ally. “What would you say if I told you I was forming a team? A team of Christmas haters so powerful, nay, so spiteful of this holiday that we in fact could take it down?”
“It sounds nice, but can it work?” Amaneezer asked. His hope was beginning to build.
“Of course, it will work. I have the best of the best involved,” The First Grinch scoffed at Amaneezer's doubt. “But I want you in, too. You may be just the extra power we need to end this Holiday, once and for all. How about it, are you in?”
“Definitely. So what are you going to do? Dress up as Santa Claus and steal things again?” Amaneezer asked.
“Of course not, that's low brow thug work. Besides I did that one year. All they did was sing an incredibly off key Little Drummer Boy. It was so bad Angels came down and beat me till I gave them back their stuff,” The First Grinch shuddered. “But that's nothing compared to getting off a snowflake.”
“Oh yeah, I think I remember that,” Amaneezer said.
The First Grinch stared at the bright as sun star in the middle of the city. His sun glasses only did so much to shield him from its bright core. “I've been rerouting tons of power to one spot in this city for weeks, while delivering lights to the only people dumb enough to plug in all those strings of lights. It took weeks, but now most of the city's power is plugged in there, and if that spot trips a breaker it'll knock out everyone's power. It'll be tough celebrating Christmas after we destroy their power!”
The First Grinch laughed and Amaneezer applauded. “So what do we do?”
“Simple! We must plug in the ultimate power drainer. A blow up Santa doll inflatable,” The First Grinch laughed.
**
“Q, I'm serious, we need to tone down these lights,” Bano said as he looked out the window. Outside was awash with colors. That is, blinding bright flashy lights.
Yoyo, who was sitting in a corner watching the weather station laughed as she gobbled down some chips. “He's right. The weather channel says its so bright that its created enough heat to melt the Ozone layer right above where we live. And any snow clouds that get near WOTNopolis disintegrate.”
“Excellent, that is the reason for the season!” Q smiled.
“No, no it's not,” Yoyo said between munching down her fiftieth cookie of the day.
“Well, then what is the reason?” Q asked as he finished putting decorations on the Christmas tree standing in the middle of the bar. “Because I'm the Christmas character in every story who doesn't know yet what it is. It works with my name Q for question quite well. I'm rife with symbolism.”
“Q I think the lights just set a neighbor's house on fire,” Bano grumbled. “Aha, the guy jumped out the window and he went blind. I don't even get why you're decorating that tree, Q. You already have a 200 foot tall Christmas tree on the roof of the bar. Just goes to show, Q's insane.”
“Shut up! I'm not insane. If plugging in 3 billion watts of lights is insane and decorating a 200 foot tall tree with mostly stockings big enough to hide cars in, then, well, okay. Maybe you'd be right. But I checked the list of insanity symptoms and that's not one of them,” Q argued back.
“Is checking the list of symptoms one of them,” Yoyo asked. Q stared for a moment then silently looked away.
“Well at least I didn't get fat all in three days. Seriously, Yoyo, if the reason for the season was eating, like at Thanksgiving I'd understand, but you really let yourself go,” Q screamed as a wave of beatings took him down.
“Q, Q. You should understand that as women age they grow fatter,” Bano was also beaten to an inch of his life.
Yoyo growled as she plopped her body down on the couch. At that moment a knock hit the door.
“Hey, its a midget,” Q asked as the door flung open. A blonde haired girl in all green with pointy ears walked into the room.
“Hey, boss, you ready to go?” the girl spoke up.
“Not yet, Abby. Go have some cookies while I eat some more,” Yoyo pointed.
“Can't, those are horrible for your teeth. Gingivitis is a real killer, and gum disease is no laughing matter. But you'll die of obesity before you have to worry about that,” Abby screamed as a kick sent her flying across the room.
Q caught Abby and set her down gently. “It's okay Dwarf. You fight real well in Lord of the Rings.”
“I'm an elf,” Abby moaned.
“Naw, those guys had bows and arrows and kicked butt. You're definitely a Dwarf,” Q spoke up. Bano nodded in agreement.
To add to matters a reindeer had just charged into the room. That's right. Reindeer. “Yohohoyo, Clairise! What are you doing here?” Yoyo asked.
Bano just dropped his mouth. “Yohohoyo? Really?”
“Shut up, you!” Yoyo glared.
“Horrible news, San- I mean, Yoyo!” Clairise said.
“Oh, like we didn't catch onto that,” Bano laughed before he was hit in the face with burning coals.
“I was looking for Rudolph when suddenly I got word that Christmas was in terrible danger in WOTNopolis! Terrible, terrible danger!” Clairise cried. “There's a group of people on their way here to destroy the city by messing up the power!”
Q immediately jumped to his feet. “If they do that, they'll mess up my lights! If I lose my lights, the city will get cold and everyone won't be happy if that happens! Those dastardly fiends must of known that.”
“No, actually they were hoping all the lights in the city would go out. There's actually a lot of people who want you to tone it down,” Clairise corrected.
“You're absolutely right, Clairise. If we let my lights go down there really is no reason for the season. Just coldness. We must stop them,” Q declared.
“How brave,” Temari smiled.
“He's so right,” Abby the elf said.
Bano just shook his head. “Okay, what do we need to do?”
“You'll do nothing!” a voice shook the room. All eyes turned to see a figure in the doorway.
Yoyo's body bounced towards the door with her swords in hand but she merely tripped when she got there. “Geez, you've really let yourself go,” the man said.
“Not in the mood,” Yoyo cried.
“Politically Correct Filter,” Bano said as he whipped his Kama out. “You can't really think you'll stop us here, do you?”
“I certainly will. This wretched Holiday is nothing more than profiteering off the poor. Its about materialism, and greed! And evil churchness in the state,” PCF shook his head. “No, I can't sit idly by and know everyone is being subjected to this evil Holiday of giving, and charity. While man can still breathe the words 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holidays' I shall not rest.”
With that PCF dashed into the room and hit Yoyo square in the tummy with his arm. Quickly a gooey substance stuck Yoyo to the wall behind her. “What, what is this?”
“Cookie Dough,” PCF said. He threw a kick at Bano but Bano dodged. Out from the ground several spikes of Cookie Dough shot towards Bano. His Kama quickly cut the bladed cookie dough in half.
“Too slow,” PCF said. A palm to Bano's side and he felt the gooey substance stick him to the wall he had just crashed into.
Abby ran behind the counter where Temari was hiding. It was down to Q and Clairise. “Will you be okay, Clairise?” Q asked.
“I'm not just a reindeer, I'm a shapeshifting one,” Clairise said as she ate a small ball. “Rumble Rumble ball.”
Her horns grew spiky and her muscles stretched. “Impressive, where'd they get those in the north pole?”
WOTNopolis Christmas
WOTNopolis was alive with energy and sparkling lights. The streets were filled with thugs, doing what thugs do during Christmas. Which in WOTNopolis, that's hanging up lights, signs, and of course, for the occasional thug, that's mistletoe. Lights have been showing up across the city since November was tossed into yestermonth. Ever seen a thug put up pink lights outside his stretch of a hideout? Does the sight strike as unusual? About that you'd be completely mistaken. Not only is it completely common but its very fashionable. Any gangster not seen putting up fantabulous lights during Christmas is, well, how do we put it, such a bumpkin.
Amaneezer Scrooge gazed at the sky of colorful lights. “Bah Humbug!” he shouted from his office window. Nothing made his day worse than seeing festivities. “Nothing's worse, I tells ya! Nothing's worse! Giddy hearts. Happiness! Even the city's worst are out celebrating a crock holiday. Baaah humbug!”
A knock hit his door. “Hello, Amaneezer. I've brought you some candy canes and homeade Christmas cupcakes,” Bob Cratchakeya Q said as she tiptoed into the room.
“Bah hum-” Amaneezer started.
“If you're gonna say bug stop it. That's annoying,” Cratchakeya Q whined. “Speaking of Christmas, can I come in five minutes late to work tomorrow it being Christmas and all?”
“No! If you do I'll dock you a half day's wages!” Amaneezer crowed.
“Pff, I'm not coming in at all. I don't work for you. I'm a sergeant too,” Cratchakeya Q pointed at her star. “Have a muffin.”
“Then why did you ask?” Amaneezer asked confused.
“Bugging you is fun?” Cratchakeya Q hopped out the door after handing Amaneezer a cinnamon flavored muffin. Christmas special. Amaneezer set to beating his cupcakes with a file of paper work when a voice came from the door.
“Hello, Mr. Amaneezer,” a voice whispered through the room. Amaneezer looked up and jumped for his gun but the green giant had already reached him and stopped him cold. “No need for weapons, I come to you as an Ally.”
“But, you are, I mean, you're!” Amaneezer stuttered.
“I know who I am, but this is not about gangs, wars, or battles. This is about something bigger. It's about defeating Christmas,” the large man sighed.
Amaneezer snorted. “Hmph, it can't be done. I've tried being sad and as down in the dumps as I can. I've tried bringing people's spirits down. I've tried saying how it's just another day. It didn't do a thing, I tells ya! I even reminded people how high suicide rates were, or how Christmas isn't even a real Holiday but it's based on pagan slaughtering of pigs.”
The figure nodded. “Don't worry, Mr. Amaneezer. Your pessimism didn't go unnoticed. You have ruined many people's holiday spirits. And for that, you should be proud. But it's still not enough to destroy Christmas. No, I am suggesting something radical. Something that will make people see Christmas is just another day!”
Large hands landed against the wall in a fist. “I hate this Holiday, I really do. I hate all the lights, and all the toys, too! I hate the trees and I hate the food. I hate how everyone is in a happy mood! I don't like the fun and I don't like the cold. I hate this holiday, hate it old!”
“But how do we stop it? How do we defeat it, The First Grinch?” Amaneezer asked.
The First Grinch looked slowly at his dispirited ally. “What would you say if I told you I was forming a team? A team of Christmas haters so powerful, nay, so spiteful of this holiday that we in fact could take it down?”
“It sounds nice, but can it work?” Amaneezer asked. His hope was beginning to build.
“Of course, it will work. I have the best of the best involved,” The First Grinch scoffed at Amaneezer's doubt. “But I want you in, too. You may be just the extra power we need to end this Holiday, once and for all. How about it, are you in?”
“Definitely. So what are you going to do? Dress up as Santa Claus and steal things again?” Amaneezer asked.
“Of course not, that's low brow thug work. Besides I did that one year. All they did was sing an incredibly off key Little Drummer Boy. It was so bad Angels came down and beat me till I gave them back their stuff,” The First Grinch shuddered. “But that's nothing compared to getting off a snowflake.”
“Oh yeah, I think I remember that,” Amaneezer said.
The First Grinch stared at the bright as sun star in the middle of the city. His sun glasses only did so much to shield him from its bright core. “I've been rerouting tons of power to one spot in this city for weeks, while delivering lights to the only people dumb enough to plug in all those strings of lights. It took weeks, but now most of the city's power is plugged in there, and if that spot trips a breaker it'll knock out everyone's power. It'll be tough celebrating Christmas after we destroy their power!”
The First Grinch laughed and Amaneezer applauded. “So what do we do?”
“Simple! We must plug in the ultimate power drainer. A blow up Santa doll inflatable,” The First Grinch laughed.
**
“Q, I'm serious, we need to tone down these lights,” Bano said as he looked out the window. Outside was awash with colors. That is, blinding bright flashy lights.
Yoyo, who was sitting in a corner watching the weather station laughed as she gobbled down some chips. “He's right. The weather channel says its so bright that its created enough heat to melt the Ozone layer right above where we live. And any snow clouds that get near WOTNopolis disintegrate.”
“Excellent, that is the reason for the season!” Q smiled.
“No, no it's not,” Yoyo said between munching down her fiftieth cookie of the day.
“Well, then what is the reason?” Q asked as he finished putting decorations on the Christmas tree standing in the middle of the bar. “Because I'm the Christmas character in every story who doesn't know yet what it is. It works with my name Q for question quite well. I'm rife with symbolism.”
“Q I think the lights just set a neighbor's house on fire,” Bano grumbled. “Aha, the guy jumped out the window and he went blind. I don't even get why you're decorating that tree, Q. You already have a 200 foot tall Christmas tree on the roof of the bar. Just goes to show, Q's insane.”
“Shut up! I'm not insane. If plugging in 3 billion watts of lights is insane and decorating a 200 foot tall tree with mostly stockings big enough to hide cars in, then, well, okay. Maybe you'd be right. But I checked the list of insanity symptoms and that's not one of them,” Q argued back.
“Is checking the list of symptoms one of them,” Yoyo asked. Q stared for a moment then silently looked away.
“Well at least I didn't get fat all in three days. Seriously, Yoyo, if the reason for the season was eating, like at Thanksgiving I'd understand, but you really let yourself go,” Q screamed as a wave of beatings took him down.
“Q, Q. You should understand that as women age they grow fatter,” Bano was also beaten to an inch of his life.
Yoyo growled as she plopped her body down on the couch. At that moment a knock hit the door.
“Hey, its a midget,” Q asked as the door flung open. A blonde haired girl in all green with pointy ears walked into the room.
“Hey, boss, you ready to go?” the girl spoke up.
“Not yet, Abby. Go have some cookies while I eat some more,” Yoyo pointed.
“Can't, those are horrible for your teeth. Gingivitis is a real killer, and gum disease is no laughing matter. But you'll die of obesity before you have to worry about that,” Abby screamed as a kick sent her flying across the room.
Q caught Abby and set her down gently. “It's okay Dwarf. You fight real well in Lord of the Rings.”
“I'm an elf,” Abby moaned.
“Naw, those guys had bows and arrows and kicked butt. You're definitely a Dwarf,” Q spoke up. Bano nodded in agreement.
To add to matters a reindeer had just charged into the room. That's right. Reindeer. “Yohohoyo, Clairise! What are you doing here?” Yoyo asked.
Bano just dropped his mouth. “Yohohoyo? Really?”
“Shut up, you!” Yoyo glared.
“Horrible news, San- I mean, Yoyo!” Clairise said.
“Oh, like we didn't catch onto that,” Bano laughed before he was hit in the face with burning coals.
“I was looking for Rudolph when suddenly I got word that Christmas was in terrible danger in WOTNopolis! Terrible, terrible danger!” Clairise cried. “There's a group of people on their way here to destroy the city by messing up the power!”
Q immediately jumped to his feet. “If they do that, they'll mess up my lights! If I lose my lights, the city will get cold and everyone won't be happy if that happens! Those dastardly fiends must of known that.”
“No, actually they were hoping all the lights in the city would go out. There's actually a lot of people who want you to tone it down,” Clairise corrected.
“You're absolutely right, Clairise. If we let my lights go down there really is no reason for the season. Just coldness. We must stop them,” Q declared.
“How brave,” Temari smiled.
“He's so right,” Abby the elf said.
Bano just shook his head. “Okay, what do we need to do?”
“You'll do nothing!” a voice shook the room. All eyes turned to see a figure in the doorway.
Yoyo's body bounced towards the door with her swords in hand but she merely tripped when she got there. “Geez, you've really let yourself go,” the man said.
“Not in the mood,” Yoyo cried.
“Politically Correct Filter,” Bano said as he whipped his Kama out. “You can't really think you'll stop us here, do you?”
“I certainly will. This wretched Holiday is nothing more than profiteering off the poor. Its about materialism, and greed! And evil churchness in the state,” PCF shook his head. “No, I can't sit idly by and know everyone is being subjected to this evil Holiday of giving, and charity. While man can still breathe the words 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holidays' I shall not rest.”
With that PCF dashed into the room and hit Yoyo square in the tummy with his arm. Quickly a gooey substance stuck Yoyo to the wall behind her. “What, what is this?”
“Cookie Dough,” PCF said. He threw a kick at Bano but Bano dodged. Out from the ground several spikes of Cookie Dough shot towards Bano. His Kama quickly cut the bladed cookie dough in half.
“Too slow,” PCF said. A palm to Bano's side and he felt the gooey substance stick him to the wall he had just crashed into.
Abby ran behind the counter where Temari was hiding. It was down to Q and Clairise. “Will you be okay, Clairise?” Q asked.
“I'm not just a reindeer, I'm a shapeshifting one,” Clairise said as she ate a small ball. “Rumble Rumble ball.”
Her horns grew spiky and her muscles stretched. “Impressive, where'd they get those in the north pole?”
Last edited by quater on Thu Jul 15 2010, 19:14; edited 2 times in total